One of the wonderful women that supported me in creating my game, Shift, reached out to me recently. Kristen had seen my Facebook post.
She was really concerned about me.
I had no clue how long it had been. We published Shift a decade ago. 2005. I spent a better part of a decade building a story that didn't serve me. That night I let go of all sorts of judgment, anger, and frustration and all these limiting beliefs I had tied up in it. It took almost an hour to fully burn and it felt oh so good.
I read through everything - the rules, the box, our meditations...every card. It really was so well done. The graphics and the content... even the rules. All amazing.
I am so thankful to the women that helped me birth it. There is no way I could have done it without their loving guidance and belief in it, in me, in us.
I had discounted it for so long. I cringed every time someone asked about it and I don't think I opened one of those boxes in the last 5 years.
It caused so much stress. Everything took a toll - my marriage, my finances, my relationship with my family...even my health.
Everyone thought I was crazy. I thought I wasn't enough.
I thought I had failed. But the reality was, I kept at it, for a very long time. Freaking years and years. I believed in it so much and when it didn't reach the level of success I needed it to, I judged it... I judged me... as a failure. Maybe it was the business model - a physical product with no marketing budget for pull is hard. Maybe it was that we were just too early. I remember companies laughed us out the door when we said the words, "limiting beliefs." Producing and distributing a physical product, live streaming multiple videos - things were so expensive to create then. Startups now have so many advantages and for the new entrepreneurs, failure is a badge of honor.
I've been working with these amazing entrepreneurs lately. They've totally inspired me to step back into my truth. They totally get that mindset matters and that consciousness is indeed cool. They get it. They think from possibility. They lead with love.
It's a decade later and all of these things that I was just too ahead of my time for are now starting to convene. Now people have a willingness to see what's driving them and let go of anything that doesn't support them reaching their highest potential.
And so as the New Year approaches I've asked myself, "What really wants to show up?" I'm so good at avoiding and not listening but I've been hearing it clearly. I am here to own my worth as a successful business woman and give other women the opportunity to create their biggest impact.
Turns out I've got a ton of limiting beliefs that have kept me from owning this message. I could not say the following sentence:
I am the original internet marketer (1995 yo!) who coaches women leaders on owning and asking for their worth.
So much here that felt icky. I had judgment about:
- Internet marketers (obnoxious and shady) - yet all the ones I know give tremendous value and are truly leading from love
- Coaches (airy fairy and definitely no business acumen) - yet the biggest pivot points in my life came from the work I did with my coaches
- Women - (Oh my - so much here. Not enough, not a big enough market, not taken seriously enough... I suppose just not worth as much) - yet I have surrounded myself with some of the most amazing women on Earth who are wielding their power for good!
This women one is big. And so this is my year to shift this huge limiting belief. We teach what we are. That means owning my worth as a woman - a bad ass business woman.
In 2015, I will support women (especially the ones positioned to have huge impact) in empowering themselves. And I will start with me. It's freaking time I shifted my game.
So after a ton of requests to create a mastermind similar to the one I've been in for 8 years - The Billionaire Girls Club - I'm finally offering a high touch version specifically designed to escalate a founder and her company's value from the inside out. There will only be 5 for now, so if you know a rock star woman leader, send her my way...
Thanks for providing the confessional. It is truly appreciated.
Best wishes for a New Year filled with abundance, love and laughter,
BTW - Since we're speaking of fully owning your message and leading a company from love, my friend Corey Blake from Round Table Companies just wrote an amazing article for HuffPost. Check it out - 2015: An Opportunity to Redefine Your Identity.